And that’s the way it was

I’ve talked about closing Tookshire for a while – contemplated it even more.  The longer I tried to keep myself loyal to blogging here the further away from my purpose I became.  When I first started a Tookshire blog, I was a young mother and bride, finding and discovering a lot of things.  I moved from blog space to blog space in an effort to find smoother blog capabilities or to connect with certain individuals easier.  However, while I won’t rid myself of a Tookshire persona online, I do have the need and desire for a completely blank slate…it would help if I had a stated purpose, but truthfully blank slate is about all my cravings indicate.  I’ve come to a different place in my life, and Tookshirefor me was an adjective type identity.  I think I’ve grown into the name, and feel too fond to leave it behind…so I’m leaving behind the blog instead and resting a bit under the shade of another.

Those of you who may be interested have my email address.  Those of you who don’t can wander in the comment section to leave a request.  Make sure you leave behind your email (it won’t post publically, but I can pull it up on the admin pages).

Peace.

-Tookshire

I’m Smitten with IKEA

Although I’m a Floridian suburbanite living in an early 80s era ranch style home, I’m an avid follower of Apartment Therapy.  Despite my Swedish heritage (which primarily consisted of Old World and American Immigrant status) I was only introduced to IKEA through the internet, and most forcefully by the comment sections of the aforementioned website (and their various coverages). 

I’ll admit, at first I thought “too modern” in many of the instances.  Other times, I thought how gorgeous something would be, if only I weren’t a Floridian suburbanite in an early 80s era ranch home.  I mean, I could see adopting the look if I had a loft (of which my city seems to have re-invented the definition, for the poorer) or adapting it to some of the early 20th century housing our city seems to have plenty of…but early 80s ranch?  My mind is stuck only seeing (and detesting) how little I can actually change the look of our home.

Anyway, yesterday I did my first walk through in Florida’s newest IKEA store.  Orlando would have been closer – but I won’t go to Orlando just for browsing.  Tampa, however, where my baby brother dwells, is a whole ‘nother story.  I didn’t even know such a store existed on our Florida soil, so I was so excited when we passed by on the way to a (it would turn out) defunct attempt to find good Greek in their little historic Ybor city…as soon as we parked, supersized storms came and so we opted for pizza.  How that actually makes sense, I don’t know.  Baby brother and Dear husband were just weird.  So…since I wasn’t getting good falafel, I begged to visit the IKEA, feeling very bad at dragging two men who don’t like to shop along.  Add to that I had my eight year old niece who was just shorted a meal.  And wet.  But in we went, bearing much teasing and down casting by the men…but once inside, Dear husband immediately warmed to the idea.  Baby brother, less taken by the wonderfulness that is IKEA, possibly because he was on the lookout for bathrooms and had a wet eight year old to look after.

IKEA was so much better than any tour online.  The quality, color and texture of things just aren’t done justice.  Sure, a lot of it is made to assemble…and that had me thinking along the lines of K-mart type quality…which these things definitely were not.  I loved everything…the store really was smartly laid out as if one were walking through a catalogue.  Various rooms were put together (and no, not in a Rooms to Go way).  Several stations would have mock small to modest size square footage apartments…complete with everything except a laundry room.   And everything was individually priced as well as packaged priced…from “if you would like the kitchen as-is with everything shown it will be X.  Minus appliances it will be X.”   This helped the less math inclined…and I was too overwhelmed with redecorating in my head to do any math.  Visions of new laundry rooms, Master Bath remodeling, redone kitchen work spaces, even my future grand-children’s rooms (not even twinkles yet in my own kids’ eyes) were dancing about.  Math?  Budget?  Current Economy?  Who has time for that when pretty pretty pretty things are all about?

In the end I bought nothing, but the modestly priced items racked up in my head totaled in the thousands…instead I settled for two of their take-home catalogues to mull over.  I’m already in the process of planning a trip after saving up just to visit IKEA again…and, sure, for kicks, I’ll look up Baby brother to see what he’s up to.

Happy Mother’s Day

My camera battery just died while reviewing my photos.  When it is recharged and I’m able to quickly view/edit, I’ll update a pic or two here on the ol’ blog.  Today was a lovely day, and I only wish that I had captured more on film.

My son, Maxwell, made me a wonderful country breakfast: scrambled eggs, buttered toast, beef sausage and a side of cream cheese to smear on everything.  He ate with me at the kitchen table. 

I purchased some online resturant gift certificates for a Victorian style dining house as a gift for my mother.  The kids and I drew trace-outlines of our hands onto a manilla folder, and transformed them into a flower garden a’la Kindergarten style, and slipped my mother’s present inside.

As a complete surprise, my oldest daughter, Epiphany, took myself and her siblings out to lunch.  She’s such a dear.  When she was in sixth grade I worked as an Assistant to the Dean of Music and Worship Leader the next  town over.  She worked down the hall from myself, and helped out in the church’s nursery which was open during the week to take care of the kids of women who were involved in the Women’s Bible Study groups for the area’s neighborhood.  Once in a while she and I would go to what is a quaint little hot/cold ladies sandwich shop (lots of windows, fancy breads, garden-style interior).  It was quite fancy for us at the time.  It was nice to see that it made an impression on her as a special place in our history.  It was sweet that she picked it for my surprise Mother’si Day luncheon.  She paid for everything, with her younger sister, Olivia, taking on the tip.

We came home, delivered my present to my own mother, and returned home just to relax for a period until Franklin arrived home from off-duty time.  He slept for a couple of hours, and then we packed up the family to head off to a couple of area parks for photographs.  I’m still getting used to my Nikon D90…which is a bit more power and function than I’m able to take on naturally…so I’m snapping like crazy hundreds of photos but I suspect only a handful will be in focus, LOL.  It was slow going at first, but eventually the kids loosened up enough to offer smiles at the same time (the unposed photos are priceless as well).  The second park was just about empty and had playground equipment.  I think it made them more comfortable – I know it did me.

Tonight Franklin is making an Italian dinner, and the table is waiting with a lace tablecloth, roses from our garden and candlesticks.  I also hear I’m in for carrot cake (Franklin selected it because that was our wedding cake).  Later I’m getting to play board games (I’m the only board game lover in the family – so I’m really being pampered).

Oops…dinner’s ready!

Getting my home in order: Paper ii (halfway mark)

Here’s my halfway point:

I passed that last night – but had a bit of trouble uploading the photograph. There’s another stack of papers out of camera view, and a couple more (which I’ve widdled down to one) in the adjacent room. That gigantic bag of garbage is all the non-essential or outdated files and some file folder boxes. No – I’m not being green, as my shredder died a noble death.

Homeschool: Burnout Avoidance Plan

It happens every January – I justify our taking a wee bit extra during the winter holidays because our family observances sometimes are just overlapping my extended family’s holiday observances, and we’ve worked so hard…blah, blah, blah.  We start back, usually with no problem, going a little slower with our homeschool program just to ease into our old routine.  And then two months of birthdays flys in, right around cold and flu season…so despite our best intentions, we’re just a little more than third gear come April, when our family stops, all over again, for the cleaning and holidays.  Come May, with the promise of a summer break, we are hitting the wall.  It takes a lot – particularly as the kids get older – to keep our nose to the proverbial grindstone.

I look back at our curriculum, realizing we’ve completely forgotten to ever pick up the “perfect” extra subject I found way back in July.  We’re behind where I had hoped to be in our sciences (kids are in different highschool levels) and our history has dissolved into period studies of individual interests…in other words, there is no formality.  I see that book-reports took a backseat to progress in other areas that don’t have as proper a paper-trail.  We may even be halfway through our second or third purchased curriculum for a child’s most difficult subject finally finding something that seems to speak the child’s way of thinking.  It becomes very very very easy to notsee the progress we’ve made.  After all, having a hodgepodge of subject matters all differing in levels and in areas of completion isn’t as satisfying as our checking off (in order, mind you) the pre-planned teacher’s suggested guidelines and lesson plan. 

All of the above lends to unnecessary self criticism for the homeschooling mother.  I’ve recently told a mother who is feeling the pull of May and sizing herself up to a Stepford Homeschooling Mother ideal, that I simply don’t trust women who say that they’ve never had this crisis of heart…who hasn’t doubted her abilities based on some subjective mental report card based upon seeing ourselves in competition with public schools, fending off familial attacks against homeschooling, and facing our own insecurities.   Which is why I recommend building a little bit of time into your homeschool planning to fit your family the way your family lives.  We can all draw up excellent plans…but if they don’t take into consideration the way your family flows, the way the children learn, the way you need a break now and again, you’ll be even harsher in self-judgement when the burnout comes.

It is a smart thing to building into your calendar known family dates (birthdates, travel for planned vacation) and “blanking” a day out to hold for appointments which have to be scheduled so you know you’ll always be available (think DDS appointments, termite inspectors….even that lunch date).  It’s also wise to set aside a block of days for mid-term type study periods or other testing.  Yet, I would also encourage the homeschooling mother, before she starts calculating how many days it will take to finish her curriculum, to place a big red “X” on her personal calendar once in a while for what I call Burn Out Avoidance. 

Burn Out Avoidance days should be non-related to any form of errand running, studious type education, and household chores.  Sure, if you need to schedule days for those type of things, do so….but Burn Out Avoidance days should be the clearing the cobwebs of homeschooling.   If you know in advance that they are coming, you’ll be able to hang on a little longer when you are going through a particular rough patch.  If you have stashed aside some ideas all ready for filling a BOA you won’t have to come up with something when you otherwise might already be approaching burn out stage (which usually means you’ll draw a blank, or only come up with really expensive or elaborate things…which will depress you all over again).

Some ideas:

• Game Day – no need to go out, just grab your favorites, pop some popcorn.  Maybe couple it with an easy dinner night (pizza) and a movie.  Great for lazy days and inclement weather days.
• Party – invite some of their friends over (also a great planned day to use as a carrot to dangle in front of them to finish their weekly assignments…but please don’t turn it into a point in which you also withhold for punishment).  Video games, movie, crayons, tea party…just simply hanging out.  My teens personally love to bring their guitars and video games out (we move our 2nd TV into the living room so everyone can play) .   Don’t want the housework of having their homeschool friends over, but don’t want to go to the expense of sending them off bowling?  Announce a BYOP (Bring Your Own Picnic) and hit the beach or a local park.  Throw Frisbees, a battery operated CD player, and some balls to toss around.  Let them meet their friends, and possibly, you can catch up with some of your homeschooling gal pals while the kids entertain themselves.
• Go out and find some fun – parks, museums, libraries.  Create art work, make homemade films, buy some crafts.  Make a yummy breakfast (easy:  take in-the-can buttermilk biscuits – not the flaky kind – punch holes in them using the lid of a soda lid, and drop it into heated vegetable oil for a three minutes on each side, until just golden.  Put in a bag/bowl full of sugar or cinnamon to coat…and you have yourself some doughnuts).
• Create a food day.  Try something new at the grocery store.  Visit the farmers market.  Dine at an ethnic restaurant’s buffet lunch.  Have a pizza cook off.
• Move your studies to a new location.  Bring their reading books to a booth at a Panera’s or a McDonalds – get a cookie or a soda while you’re at it.  Give the kids free reign of the family camera and go hunting for science or history/architecture. 
• Do a family craft – let the kids help organize those family photographs into storage boxes, albums or scrap books.  Paint furniture for a new look. 
• Or just have a family meeting to see if their needs are being met.  Perhaps you might check in with them two or three times a year to see if a particular subject or curriculum could be (or should be) dropped.  If there’s a subject that *you* need dropped, remember, there’s always next year….go ahead and release yourself from bondage and start living in the perk that is freedom in homeschooling.

As wonderful as scheduling BOA - do try and allow yourselves an unscheduled BOA every now and again.

The order for the evening

….is a good night’s sleep.  I’ve been fighting off a migraine for the last couple of hours, unable to hole up in my dark bedroom because I had errands to run.  Tomorrow I have to rise early…which normally isn’t a problem until I have a migraine the day before.  Not taking care of it sooner ensures that I’ll still be suffering effects tomorrow.  My normal insomniac tendancies will be something I will still have to fight against.  I’m looking forward to a really hot shower, Maxwell cooking dinner in my stead and Tylenol Migraine pills.

I snapped some before photos today and will show them juxtaposed throughout my weekly projects once they are completed.

Getting my home in order: Quick note

For those of you who read my last post – please try not to freak…it will not be spring cleaning for 12 weeks.  These are the areas of projects I plan on doing…in the mean time, I’m giving myself a couple of weeks to do a clean sweep and organization of my household.  I have a graduation plus a 48-hour trip within that time frame, so the work itself won’t take long, but with the interruptions I’ll need that long before everything is tip-top.  I’m also – believe it or not – wrapping up our homeschooling and already have some things knocking about the ol’ noggin that I’d like to share while I’m pulling it together.

Tomorrow (today – I’m up late), I’m going through the house at a brisk pace.  The goal is to throw away and pick up…floors and surfaces.  I’m not talking wholesale decluttering…just doing the obvious…dirty socks to the laundry, empty waste cans, gathering stray and empty glasses from around the house.  Fluff couch pillows.  Ensure extra roll of TP is in the bathroom.  That sort of thing.  I’m following through with a whole house dusting and vacuum immediately upon completion.  I know for a fact that my kitchen table *will* not be spic-and-span towards the end because it has become the mother of all dumping grounds (we recently removed two bookshelves used for storage..so all storage is on kitchen table waiting to be sorted).  Maybe I’ll even post before and after pics, LOL.  Yeah, that’d be a thrill, I’m sure.   Hey, they are more for me, I suppose – I’ll be shaming myself to make progress happen.  I’m sick, I know.

Getting my home in order: Paper

I made this announcement on a message board I frequent, but – hey, why reinvent the wheel for a blog, right?

I need to make some progress on my housekeeping, so these posts are simply just to report what and how I’m doing something.  If you are in the same boat, you’re more than welcome to pitch in.  Every week I’m going to be focusing on a different goal. 

Week 1:  Paper
Week 2:  Bookshelves & Office Supplies
Week 3:  Closets (clothes and hall)
Week 4:  Surface tops throughout the house
Week 5:  Kitchen
Week 6:  Kitchen continued
Week 7:  Household Notebook (including family chore updates)
Week 8:  Bathrooms and storage
Week 9:  Master Bedroom redo (I’m saving money for this one!)
Week 10: Laundry Room
Week 11: Car (taking it as an easy week after #s 9 & 10)
Week 12: Back Porch and Garden

Something has torn me from the norm, and I couldn’t tell you what.  It was only a month ago that my home was scrubbed and in order for the Passover season (which is when I do my Spring Cleaning).  I didn’t go as gung-ho as I normally do…at the moment I could say that I am claustrophobic in every room but two (the front room which I just cleaned today, and my bathroom which still needs a cleaning, but at least isn’t cluttered).

Diagnosis:  Too much stuff and inadequate storage.

With the garage being the exception, I’m decluttering my home of papers because that seems to be my biggest “pile maker” (even more than laundry!).

I am fortunate to have had the money to purchase two gorgeous lateral files…that was a splurge for us, and I could have survived with our old system:  milk crates hidden in the wardrobe and bedroom.  The new cabinets were delivered last Friday, and I’ve been working on moving my files…and purging drastically in the process.

The hardest things I’m handling are past homeschool papers/forms.  Our state only requires us to keep two years worth of records.  I have all of them, including the samples and planning books.  And one of my kids is already in college!

I’ve thrown away about four milk-crates worth of paper thus far, and a rather large stack that was gathered on a tabletop in the house. 

My homeschool files now consist of a “final” for my college aged student…it holds her transcript, the letter of completion to the county, and a compilation sheet of materials/curriculums used throughout her high school career.

My plans are to more fully go through my remaining kids’ files during the summer. 

My computer crashed and died completely a couple of weeks ago, without my backing up anything.  Luckily, I printed out quite a bit and hadn’t thrown out anything.  I just don’t have the desire to print out everything and file.  And that bit me in the end.  However, I decided to make a mail folder in my Yahoo email account entitled HS – and am mailing myself attachments and then forwarding the emails there to safeguard.  Safer than disks (that I loose or scratch).  There’s probably a smarter way, I’m just handling it this way in the meantime.

Well, I’ve been working on this over the weekend, and I’m in the state of “it’ll get worse before it gets better.”  LOL  Still, I’m making progress and that is what counts.

Back in May

Thank you to those who left messages while I was away.

I’m still not certain what direction I’ll be taking, as I’m still not feeling gung ho.  It’s like my brain is tired.

Just after posting last time, my computer gave up the ghost.  It was a lemon from the time I first opened the cardboard box it came in.  Trips back to the manufacturer and to the subsequent retailer never truly ramped it’s performance.  It was a sickly little HP laptop.  It drove me crazy, and I awaited the day it would finally die (post warranty) so that I could obtain another one.  It often would break down on me during my most critical times.  I suppose feeling a bit neglected at my proclamation of reduced computer time, it decided to bite me one last time…right before our homeschooling wrap up, taking with it a number of hard worked documents.  I have earlier things backed up…but nothing I can yet access.  My new computer is a beaut, but is exhibiting some signs of irritation with me…namely the cursor jumps up-paragraph at random times.  I’ve reduced the mouse sensitivity, but to no avail.  Technology one day will rise up, so say the science-fiction fans, and I’ll likely be the first human to fall.

Two weeks ago I ordered some dreamy file cabinets from Pottery Barn.  It was only made possible by the money my grandmother willed to me.  Up until now I’ve used one crickety damaged metal file cabinet (which finally broke during our last move), one two drawer metal file cabinet and nearly twelve milk-crate boxes ala K-mart.  Imagine how pretty I felt my house was with those things laying about!  Anyway, my file cabinets arrived yesterday, and they are gorgeous.  I don’t have adequate picture taking light in the room to show you a in-home photo, but you can see what they look like through the above links.  At some point, after putting everything together, I’ll snap a photo or two to upload.

At the moment, I’m taking advantage of my new file cabinets to actually thin out my paper files.  Epiphany, my college aged child who, being unsentimental, has given me, who is sentimental, to trash all of her old homeschool files.  When she entered high-school, I had already pared down her files keeping cute early years things/drawing, but high-school isn’t always so fun to keep around.  The only things I salvaged were her photos, final transcript, termination of homeschool letter and her high school diploma.

Despite having a dozen milk crate boxes, I had stacks of paper that needed to be filed stored in several other locations.  I printed off a number of homeschooling things (teacher’s stuff, not the kids’) so I’m able to recreate just a bit, and tweak here and there.  I’m really excited about organizing my computer in a different way, to match my file cabinets.  Even loosing my bookmarks were a blessing, as I had bookmarked eleventy-thousand, and it had really become unhelpful.   

One downside (sorta) of my computer crashing is that it did *not* (and wouldn’t) affect my bloglines.  I have to many listed as reads, many blogs where I’ve been inactive in visiting, or have never actually commented on (lurker status where I feel I’m reading more for an informal education on things I found of interest than reading a blog detailing someone’s life.  Think things like photography, politics, art.)  Part of my free time during the summer will be to thin that baby down to the ones in which I only find enjoyment and/or participate on a regular basis.

So, anyway, May looks completely dedicated to information/paper and it’s organization.  I’m wrapping up the school year (homeschooling = another child, Olivia, graduates and Maxwell will be a Senior next year).  Going through all their things, and being unhindered from all my “good ideas” in the form of bookmarks, I’m able to have a clean slate going forward to Maxwell’s senior year.  It also reduces my homeschool prep to just one child (oh, I lurve that!). 

Alright, that’s my check in for this morning.  I’ve given myself a new computer routine to follow, with the exception of this post.  In the a.m., I’m only going to check my in at my message board and mail.  In the afternoon/early evening breaks, I’m checking out blogs and will be minimally visiting those who are regular commenters to my blog (which equate to about three, LOL…a completely doable number).  In the evenings I’ll post myself, with the exception of Friday’s and Saturdays.  Those days are dedicated to personal, family and communal worship of the Word, and while it is not sinful for me to blog on those days, I really would serve myself better by keeping focused.

That’s it, that’s what I’ve been doing and have come to via my blog-fast.  And, now, I’m off to do some homeschool work and then, if I can wrest my husband from his slumber, a nice brunch of Belgum waffles in Riverside where his artwork is showing in a couple of different places (one a very prestigious museum, I might add brag, as part of their showing off some of our city’s top artists).

Cummer Showing, 2009

a confession of sorts

The time has come for me to stop fighting against something that I’ve been wanting to do.

I think Tookshire is all blogged out.

Sure, I have things I still want to share, things I formulate into posts while away from the computer, and things still in the draft-stage just waiting for a little polish.  It’s not that I don’t have time for the computer (I really spend too much time).  It’s just that…I don’t know.  I’ve enjoyed blogging, even with the really low rate of give and take (I visit lots, but haven’t ever developed the etiquette of dropping comments for the sake of dropping comments).  At the moment, I’ve seemed to have really picked up a love for blogs that are about feathering their nests.  Maybe it’s just a stage in my life.

Maybe it’s just a need to release this particular blog.  It’s turned into homework that I’m avoiding.  While I love to talk about certain things, and adore sharing certain things, I do not enjoy teaching from scratch all the time.  And because I want to make my stuff make sense, I feel (self-imposed) that I have to start from scratch.  I had all this stuff for counting the Omer, for example, but first I felt I had to lay groundwork, and because that was slower than what I was doing in real life, I kept procrastinating, and then, voila, I just didn’t post.

I don’t even know if I want to close this (I won’t delete things or take it off line…I’m talking more like just picking up and plopping down somewhere else with a different direction).

I can honestly say that I’m not all that busy right now.  I’m just at a stage where I don’t want to do this particular thing right now, and the more I try to fight it, the worse I am accountable, and the more I avoid.

So…I’m taking the next couple of weeks off.  Just cold.  I won’t be visiting, I won’t be reading via bloglines, and I won’t be posting.  Maybe a blog fast will recharge me, maybe not.  I’ll come back and post what direction I’m going for those interested and if I set up shop, I’ll contact posters via their email (if I have them) or through whatever blog they leave linked in the comment section.  I know I don’t collect a lot of commentors, so I’m not judging my worth or value…just putting it out there that if I move, and you have invested in me or feel connected and don’t want to loose this weirdly online only relationship, I’m not about ditching.